


Episode Review: Raid on Riga

by GrumpyGhostOwl



Series: Grumpy Episode Reviews [9]
Category: Battle of the Planets
Genre: Episode Review
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8393806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyGhostOwl/pseuds/GrumpyGhostOwl
Summary: Move over, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert! Zoltar brings out his pinkest, rainbow-hued, most fabulous Machine of Terror to show the Rigans that never mind Colonel Cronus' street corner hooker boots, sweetie, he's the most absolutely fabulous villain of them all, darling!





	

_Raid on Riga_ is another of those episodes that hasn't stuck in my mind, not like some of the others that made a real impression. So I thought it would be good to take a trip down memory lane. Join us as the Giant Blue Chicken of Spectra hones its AsYouKnowBobbing skills on Zoltar, and see the Evil Commander _du jour_ wear a funnier (and pointier) hat than usual while commanding a truly fabulous fleet of Ominous Ships. See G-Force as they engage in a spot of teen rebellion. They have a cause, but not a clue. Meanwhile, Chief Anderson is not a happy bunny. So make yourself comfy and settle in to revisit _Raid on Riga_.  
  
  
  
Our story begins in the accustomed manner -- I find this a little bit bardic, in its own way. Think back (particularly those of you who have studied or have an interest in the art of story-telling and oral tradition) to the way bards and storytellers preserved legends, folklore and saga. They followed a pattern in the telling, such as a traditional opening line that might go something like, 'Long ago, when your grandfather's grandfather was yet unborn...' or 'In ancient days, when the dew of creation lay yet upon the earth...' or even, 'Once upon a time...' The formulaic opening of _Battle of the Planets_ is a quaint reminder of days gone before.  
  
The three orange fish, who have been dubbed in previous reviews Larry, Curly and Moe, are swimming past Center Neptune. As always, the role of chorus is performed by 7-Zark-7, who is a tragedy all on his own, albeit it remains unlikely that he could be considered either Greek or classical.  
  
Zark makes the introductions for new viewers and those of us with the short-term memory of a Monty Python goldfish: "This," he announces, "is Center Neptune, first outpost of defence for our galaxy, where we keep a watchful eye on everything that moves in the universe! Even pulsars and novas, and those mysterious quasars." Except when the plot requires ignorance, of course, but this must be taken as a given. I suspect the listing of star types has now satisfied our advertised requirement for educational content. So, cue the cute robot music, which I hated as a child, and still hate now. "But, sometimes, like right now," Zark continues, reclining on his little green couch, "everything is so calm and serene in the great black yonder, it's all routine, and I don't have a single alert to report."  
  
There is a pair of sneakers -- white, with three black stripes and black laces -- lying by Zark's couch.  
  
Do robots wear sneakers?  
  
I never noticed this before, but Zark actually has two dart boards. The one I remember is white with red circles and four little '7's on it, but there's another one above it with a single dart stuck in it. It's green and yellow, with another '7' as the bullseye.  
  
Zark's personal space has been lovingly detailed with shading to give it depth. If only the artists had gone to this much trouble with the G-Force ready room, and with the team themselves when they produced the add-on animation. Still, I suppose they use this parti cular background so much, it was worth doing it up properly.  
  
Zark gets off his couch and descends by way of a transparent tube to his work area. When he gets to the bottom, he's no longer kitted out in his ghastly little orange number '7' sweater but is in his work uniform with that horrible little cape. He uses the cape to fly about two feet, which seems to be a dreadful waste of energy. He then reaches into a hidden recess to produce a small version of Mark's boomerang, which he throws. It soars about the room to some rather chaotic 'robot comedy' music and returns to Zark's hand. He tucks it back into his belt, and flies the remaining five feet to his console.  
  
Some horrors exist to serve as warnings to those who would repeat the mistakes of the past. This, though, is just pointless.  
  
Zark's monitors are all a flat grey, today. He presses several buttons and wipes the glass, then they come to life with brightly coloured dots.  
  
Suddenly, they're dead again and Zark has lunged to his left, practising martial arts moves.  
  
Please. Make him stop. I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just make him stop.  
  
Zark chops and kicks at his (presumably rather expensive) console, striking sparks off the metal then leans back to survey his work.  
  
Another cut and he's back at work again, antennae springing wildly. "I try to keep in shape," he says, (he's a robot, for crying out loud) and he's staring at dead grey screens, "but I knew it couldn't last. There's an emergency alert coming in from Planet Riga." Probably demanding that we get on with the story, already. We cut to a close-up of Zark's gleaming little domed head. Ugh. "Riga," Zark explains, "is our sister planet, you know, even though it's a thousand light years from Earth. We're always ready to go to the aid of any Alliance planet. I must see what the problem is."  
  
  
  
We cut to a shot of everyone's favourite villain, the purple-clad Zoltar, who is standing with his back to us, gazing upon the unlovely countenance of the Great Spirit of Spectra, also known to regular readers of these reviews as the Giant Blue Chicken of Spectra, because, you know, it looks like a giant blue chicken with a heck of an attitude problem.  
  
"The initial attack worked perfectly," the GBC exposits. "You know, of course, Zoltar, why we have chosen the planet Riga for our testing ground."  
  
Zoltar -- just call him 'Bob' for the purposes of this scene -- inclines his head and replies, "Because Cronus, Defence Commander of Riga, is a friend of the G-Force Commander."  
  
Aha! The plot thickens!  
  
"Yes," the GBC agrees. "Earth will answer Riga's call for help, and G-Force will be dispatched to Riga at once. Your new ship, armed with our latest and most destructive weapon, will be waiting for them."  
  
Z-Bob is impressed, but voices a note of caution: "It is truly a formidable weapon, Sire," he says, "but G-Force has mysterious powers."  
  
"Do not question my orders!" the GBC snaps. "Without me, you and your miserable planet would have died long ago!"  
  
The GBC flickers out in a fit of pique, accompanied by special piqued chicken effects. Z-Bob bows again. "Yes, O Luminous One," he says, acquiescing.  
  
  
  
So there you are. We've been told.  
  
  
  
A pair of massive blast doors bearing Spectra's 'Evil Symbol,' are opening, accompanied by some ominous music. The reason for the ominous music is an Ominous Ship.  
  
The Ominous Ship has Ominous Wheels (with Ominous All Terrain Tyres, currently on a super sell out special at a mere $950 each _fully fitted_. That's right, for this month only, we'll include fitting and balancing on anything up to eight wheels! Multiple articulated terror machines will cost an extra $20 per wheel. Easy finance available.)  
  
The Ominous Ship has Ominous Talons, with two forward and one hallux. They're big and shiny and... ominous.  
  
The Ominous Ship has Ominous Wings.  
  
The Ominous Ship has an Ominous raptorial beak.  
  
The Ominous Ship has... Ominosity.  
  
I don't know if 'ominosity' is an actual word, but English is a living language, and I hereby invoke the Humpty Dumpty Rule.  
  
The Ominous Ship is also, for reasons not adequately explained, pink.  
  
_But it's a particularly ominous shade of pink_! So there.  
  
Watching the arrival of the Ominous Ship are Z-Bob and his Ominous Crew of Ominous Villains. One of the goons is wearing a different uniform to the rest, with a pointy hat, so we may assume from this that he is the Evil Commander _du jour_.  
  
The Ominous Ship flexes various Ominous bits, and the music reaches an ominous crescendo.  
  
Z-Bob is very happy. "A magnificent ship, Shaetan," he says, "with her proton-negative sonar beam and enormous firepower, _nothing can stand up to her_!"  
  
Now, jargon aside (proton-negative? 'Scuse me?) if that isn't a spot of foreshadowing with a big dollop of dramatic irony, I don't know what is.  
  
The music thinks it is, because it goes from ominous to foreboding.  
  
  
  
We now leave our Evil Villains and their Ominous Ship to feed some pigeons.  
  
I would like to point out for the rest of you that pigeons are very unhygienic animals. They carry all manner of parasites and diseases, including mites, lice, psittacosis (which is zoonotic) and trichomaniasis.  
  
Come to think of it, Z-Bob's new Ominous Ship is rather raptorial, so maybe, to defeat it, G-Force just needs to throw some pigeon poop at it so that it comes down with a nasty case of trich' and dies.  
  
Somehow, though, I don't see it happening that way. They've probably got Spartrix on Spectra, anyway, because even though Spartrix is merely a pill that you give to a sick bird to make it better, it sounds really evil.  
  
  
  
So, anyway, Mark and Princess are feeding pigeons.  
  
That's so cute!  
  
And the 'shippers go, 'Aaaaaawwwww!'  
  
Princess is looking relaxed and happy. "It's so peaceful, here," she says.  
  
"Some day," Mark says, "I'd like to build a house up here. A real 'get away from it all' place."  
  
And the 'shippers go, 'Squee!' Because this is so much like Bill and Laura and the cabin on New Caprica, only nobody's smoking weed because of the rating (and also I kind of hope Mark and Princess might get a happier ending, or at least a less morbid one.)  
  
Princess turns to Mark, no doubt with the words, 'future,' 'commitment,' and 'squee!' racing through her head.  
  
They're not alone, however, (sorry, 'shippers!) because Jason's behind the bench they're on, just the other side of the footpath with his back to them, leaning against a safety railing. "I'll join you," he says, "when I've got a long grey beard, and a cane, _and_ a pension."  
  
Keyop comes racing up the path, stuttering, and startles the pigeons, setting them to flight. "Emergency!" he manages to get out. "Emergency!"  
  
"What's got you all worked up, Keyop?" Princess asks.  
  
Keyop burbles a bit and manages to say, "Bad news!" He holds up a pocket transistor radio (one may only assume that in the distant future, they're in a serious 1970s retro phase) which is tuned to the news.  
  
"And, once again," says the radio announcer, "Spectra forces have invaded our galaxy! This time, it is Planet Riga under attack!"  
  
Mark frowns. "Riga?" he echoes.  
  
"We have steady work as long as there's Planet Spectra," Princess remarks.  
  
Mark rises to his feet. "I hate to be a wet blanket, Keyop," he says, "but tell Romeo over there we have to leave."  
  
Mark looks to his right and the camera cuts to a close up of Tiny's hands. He's nervously pushing his left index finger in to his palm. "Honestly," Tiny's saying, "I really mean it, Alice." The camera pulls back and Tiny is talking to a pretty, rather too-thin young woman with cornsilk-yellow hair. He's turned away from her so that he doesn't have to look at her while he confesses his feelings and risks rejection, the trepidation plain on his broad, honest face. "You know, Alice, I never met a girl as brilliant as you, before."  
  
Alice replies, "Well, I never met a man as macho as you, before." Ugh! Ditch her, Tiny. Any girl who's looking for a macho man is not seeking an equal partner. You'll have to do all the work and she'll turn out to be some sappy passive-aggressive who keeps you guessing all the time. _Macho_! Ptht!  
  
"Wow!" Tiny is thrilled and grins, blushing, as he leans back against the tree where they are both sitting. "I think this is what they call fate, Alice." No, Tiny dear, it's called adolescence, and if you live long enough, you'll grow out of it.  
  
This awkward and hormonal moment is brought to an end by Keyop, who arrives all hot and bothered (but for an entirely different reason.)  
  
"Gotta go!" Keyop declares.  
  
Tiny, however, is not paying attention. "Hey, Alice," he says, just in case any of us missed the fact that Tiny's companion is named, 'Alice,' "you know, maybe we could go --" and at this point, his brain catches up with the other bits that were previously doing the thinking. "Leave?" he howls in dismay. "Aw, no!"  
  
Slings and arrows, Tiny. Slings and arrows.  
  
  
  
We cut to a city at night, the camera tilting up to follow the lines of skyscrapers. Zark joins us in voice-over. "This," he narrates, "is one of Riga's main cities. Thank goodness Rigan officials were warned in time," he says, as the Ominous Ship flies low overhead, "and the city has taken refuge in their shelters."  
  
You know, the foregoing sentence does not make actual sense. The city has not taken refuge. The city is standing there. The citizenry of the city may well have taken refuge in their shelters, but the city has not. We are looking at it.  
  
Rant time! If you are a professional writer, and by this I mean that you are being paid to write things, acceptance of the job and the accompanying pay packet implies a certain expectation that you will, in fact, be able to demonstrate a passable command of the language. One thing I've noticed as I've reviewed a number of BotP episodes is that the people writing the dialogue for this show are consistently failing to demonstrate a sound command of English, even allowing for the high probability that their native language is American English, which, really, is a contradiction in terms. The grammar and syntax are actually quite poor in places. I probably wouldn't mind quite so much if the series had not been promoted as having educational content. It's really quite annoying.  
  
Okay, rant over. Back to the episode.  
  
The Ominous Ship fires an Ominous Ray from its Ominous Eyes, and its target, one of the tall buildings in the city, crumbles and explodes!  
  
"Riga's defences are futile against Zoltar's newest weapon," Zark tells us as the Ominous Ship's talons crush and tear at another building. "A deadly form of visible sonic vibration, which seems to literally disintegrate everything it touches!" As opposed to, say, figuratively disintegrating everything it touches, eh, Zark? (Didn’t Phil Collins write a song about that?)  
  
The proton-negative (yeah, I know) sonar beam seems to take the form, variously, of a coloured ray of light, a funnel cloud, and a blast of energy. Buildings collapse under the onslaught.  
  
The Ominous Ship flies on.  
  
Now we see some fighter planes streaking along a coastline in what looks to be daylight, now. (The sun comes up really fast on Planet Riga.) The fighters let fly a barrage of air-to-air missiles, some of which are swallowed by the Ominous Ship, without any apparent ill effects. The remainder explode harmlessly on its fuselage. The fighters then engage with tracer fire. The Ominous Ship lets loose with a light show that looks as though it might have been inspired by someone's experiences with LSD.  
  
The frame shrinks and we segue very neatly to Center Neptune, where G-Force is being briefed by Chief Anderson. They do this kind of segue quite frequently and while it's getting to be predictable, I think it's well executed. I guess if you're on a good thing, you stick to it.  
  
"As you saw," Anderson says, "Zoltar has openly and defiantly attacked one of the Alliance Planets."  
  
Ooooohh! A glimpse into the socio-political structure of the BotP universe! Shiny!  
  
I do wish they'd settled on some continuity for this show. Zark has previously told us about the Inter-Galactic Federation of Peaceful Planets, and now they're on about an Alliance. I know the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but continuity would have been nice. I suppose you could have a Federation, and an Alliance within that Federation, or maybe Riga isn't a member of the Federation but has treaties either with the Federation as an entity, or with certain Federated worlds, such as Earth, forming an Alliance.  
  
"We're not quite sure what Zoltar is after," Anderson continues. "He's given Riga no demands. According to the rules of the Alliance, we cannot intervene until Riga authorities formally request help."  
  
Jason takes issue with this. "Riga has come down to help us out a lot of times when _we_ needed _them_. Now they're in trouble. All we want is a crack at Zoltar."  
  
The rules have never really been Jason's strong suit. Jason is about Right and Wrong, as he sees it. Rules just get in the way.  
  
"Maybe that's just what Zoltar wants," Anderson retorts, seemingly unable to resist having an argument with Jason.  
  
The rest of the team are surprised at this sentiment. "Why?" asks Mark. "We've beaten him before."  
  
"Yes," Anderson says, "but this time, I can't risk G-Force or the _Phoenix_ until we've analysed their new weapon."  
  
"By then," Mark reasons, "it might be too late."  
  
"We wait," Anderson says. "Those are Security orders, Commander."  
  
Mark raises his eyebrows. "Maybe," he hedges.  
  
"I know how you feel, Mark," Anderson says, "but if you disobey my orders, I'll be forced to ground you."  
  
Jason takes a seat next to Tiny. "If that's how you feel, Mister Anderson," he says, "we'll wait."  
  
"I'm trying to contact Commander Cronus now to learn more of the situation there," Anderson says. "Colonel Cronus is a personal friend, isn't he?" Anderson asks Mark.  
  
Okay, it seems that 'Commander' is more of a title than a rank. And for those of us who have seen _The Sky is Falling,_ the dramatic irony is being laid on thick. As an aside, I've always thought that the phrase, 'personal friend' is a bit of a tautology. You have friends, acquaintances and colleagues. Friends are personal. Acquaintances and colleagues may be either, but you tend not to get friends that are anything other than personal. This is the nature of friendship, is it not? How many _im_ personal friends do you have? (Edit: I wrote this before social media was invented. By now you probably have loads of impersonal friends. Are they _really_ your friends, thought? Really truly?)  
  
"I'm thinking of Colonel Cronus on Riga," Mark replies. "We've been through a lot of tough scraps together against Spectra. I owe him my life." Literally. Together with fifty percent of your genetic material, kid. "And he can't beat Zoltar alone!" Anderson turns away, arms folded. "Clear us, Chief," Mark begs.  
  
"No," Anderson refuses, turning back to Mark.  
  
"Thanks for nothing!" Mark says accusingly. (I don't think there's any other way to deliver that line, in any event, is there?)  
  
  
  
Once again, we see the Ominous Ship cruising straight and level, while Zark talks at us. "I understand Mark's concern," Zark says, "but we must find a way to counter Spectra's powerful new weapon before risking that mission."  
  
And even if you do, you still have to wait for Riga's formal request for military assistance.  
  
Aboard the Ominous Ship, Z-Bob is calling to see how things are going.  
  
"Well?" he asks. "How did it go, Commander?"  
  
The Evil Commander _du jour_ is wearing some kind of red and yellow clown outfit that involves a pointy red hat. It's very pointy. Extremely pointy. Altogether too pointy, in a Freudian sort of a way. "We have encountered no great opposition from Planet Riga, Sire," he says.  
  
"Good," Zoltar says, "but G-Force will be ordered here, soon. Then you'll have your work cut out for you."  
  
"We're ready," ECdj says.  
  
The Ominous Ship makes a weird sound effect that is possibly meant to sound like a hawk's call, and goes into a steep descent over a heavily treed island.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back in the briefing room, G-Force is waiting, their collective mien one of despondency.  
  
Keyop is pacing while Jason leans back in his seat. Tiny is sitting upright, arms folded, staring into the middle distance, and Princess, on the end of the sofa, is turned away from her friends, resting her chin in one hand while her elbow is supported by one knee. Mark is doing an Anderson, staring out the viewport at the fish. For what it's worth, the wall clock, an analogue model, reads ten to twelve.  
  
Keyop hammers his fists against the wall and burbles. "Go crazy... waiting!"  
  
"Cut it out, Keyop," Jason rebukes him. "It's bad enough to be sitting here twiddling our thumbs while Zoltar's blowing up the galaxy. You're not making it any easier to take. Button up!"  
  
And I really think Jason's exaggerating a little bit, here. Z-Bob isn't blowing up the entire galaxy, possum. He’s just blowing up the bit you're worried about.  
  
Mark turns away from his contemplation of the marine ecosystem outside. "We're all on edge because we know there's a job to do, and we're not being allowed to do it! Our friends on Riga are in trouble, so let's get up there and give Colonel Cronus a hand."  
  
Mark's team are on their feet and saluting. "G-Force!"  
  
They run down the hallway, having transmuted. Anderson darts out of his office to see them go. "G-Force! Don't be foolish! You're not prepared."  
  
Next, we see the _Phoenix_ launching from its undersea hangar.  
  
It's a shame it never occurred to Anderson that he could probably have just locked the doors.  
  
But, silly me, what was I thinking? Center Neptune's systems -- along with Anderson's IQ -- only operate within plot parameters.  
  
The _Phoenix_ emerges from the sea and climbs skyward. Aboard, the team is taking a call from a Chief Anderson, who is not a happy bunny. "Without proper briefing, you'll never be able to cope with Zoltar's new weapon," he warns them.  
  
"We couldn't _cope_ with it by just sitting down on Earth and waiting!" Mark shoots back.  
  
"You've committed a serious offence," Anderson says. At this, someone aboard the _Phoenix_ flicks a switch and breaks the connection. "But good luck, anyway," Anderson tells the empty screen.  
  
The _Phoenix_ leaves Earth behind and flies through space. We see a galactic whirl, a couple of nebulae and... Oh, look! It's our old friend the jell-o planet!  
  
  
  
On Riga, ECdj is watching a tiny _Phoenix_ on his tactical display. "Here they come," he observes, "the Earth ship of G-Force has reached Planet Riga!"  
  
"Excellent!" Zoltar says. "I knew they'd come. Remember: use conventional weapons at first, then trap them!"  
  
"They'll never know what struck them!" ECdj predicts, then because he's not a fully-fledged Evil Villian but a mere Evil Commander _du jour_ , he twitches and does a sort of stroke-victim version of the Evil Villain Laugh.  
  
  
  
We fade out and fade back in, predictably, to Nerve Center, where Zark is wearing a groove in the floor with his unpleasant cybernetic pacing. "This is a situation I've never had to cope with before!" he says. A bunch of teens, rebelling against authority. Never, huh? What planet did you say you were on again, Zark? "G-Force is in terrible trouble because they disobeyed Security Chief Anderson, and have gone off to try to help Planet Riga. To make matters worse, Mark has shut off all communication to us, so I can't advise them on how to cope with Spectra's awesome new weapon!" Zark flies across to his console. "But I can't give up! I've got to see if I can get through somehow! Maybe if I try my multiplex therma-telecom! Center Neptune calling G-Force. Do you read me? Come in, G-Force. _Please_ , come in, G-Force!"  
  
We cut to the bridge of the _Phoenix_ , where Keyop, Jason and Princess are standing while Tiny and Mark occupy the left and right hand seats, respectively.  
  
Something is closing on an intercept course.  
  
"Yow!" Tiny declares.  
  
"Flying bat!" Keyop says. As opposed, to, say, a bat that gets around by way of riding a bicycle, mayhap?  
  
Now, I would like to digress for just a moment and point out that I think bats get a lot of bad press, and quite undeservedly so. I mean, really, just because a lot of bats happen to be seriously ugly, is that any reason to go around portraying them as being symbols of evil and irrational fear? I think not. Bats are actually a very important part of many ecosystems. Many flowering plants rely on microbats to pollinate them, and without bats, our world would be a poorer place. Some of the larger fruit bats are extremely cute! I challenge you to Google 'Bat Conservation International' and take a look at some of the fascinating information they have about bats.  
  
Oh, and if you are thinking of getting involved with anything to do with bats, please make sure you have had all your shots, because I’m afraid it’s true that bats can carry some particularly nasty (and fatal) zoonotic diseases. Vampirism is not one of them, however.  
  
"I only hope it's as blind as a bat," Princess says, which is a silly thing to say, really, because you know it won't be, and bats get around very well using their sonar, thank you very much.  
  
The Ominous Ship gets bigger and bigger on the view-screen. "Try to jockey us up close, Tiny," Mark says.  
  
"Might be kinda tricky," Tiny says.  
  
"Jason," Mark says, "keep your hand real close to that rocket launcher button."  
  
Whoa. Did Mark just tell Jason to be ready to push the Big Red Button?  
  
This is getting surreal!  
  
"Right on top of it," Jason says, obliging with a grin that I really wouldn't want directed at me.  
  
The Ominous Ship opens its Ominous Beak and fires a volley of rockets at the _Phoenix_. Tiny takes evasive action, and Jason, instead of having prepared by opening the cover on the rocket launcher button, opts to smash the cover and hit the button repeatedly with a clenched fist.  
  
I imagine the engineering team back at Center Neptune have an interesting time as they go over the maintenance release with Tiny in between missions.  
  
Rockets launch from the _Phoenix_ 's dorsal launcher and take out the incoming Spectran ordnance. Jason is unimpressed. "Okay," he says. "Try to pick these off," and fires several more. The Ominous Ship doesn't bother with countermeasures, but instead catches the _Phoenix_ 's rockets in the batlike Ominous Claws on its Ominous Wings. It also swallows one. Next frame, it has (without plausible explanation) turned the rocket around and releases back in the general direction of the _Phoenix_.  
  
Did I say 'without plausible explanation'? I meant, without plausible _anything_.  
  
But you probably knew that.  
  
Tiny is now having to dodge his own air-to-air missiles.  
  
The Ominous Ship raises the stakes by releasing a flock of smaller, Less Ominous ships.  
  
They're still Ominous Pink, though.  
  
Mark is bemused. He's probably wondering why anyone would paint combat aircraft pink and yellow. Maybe he's thinking that Zoltar's ship designer uses the word, 'fabulous,' a lot. "Now a whole fleet of 'em!" he observes.  
  
And he's careful not to use the word, 'fabulous.'  
  
Even the exhaust gases on the fabulously Less Ominous ships is colour coordinated: some are pink, some are yellow, and some are white.  
  
Egad, those Spectrans may be evil, but you have to admit, they have style.  
  
Just not the sort you'd want anywhere near you.  
  
The fabulous Less Ominous ships put on a little fly past for the _Phoenix_ , approaching in formation and then peeling off with those fabulous coloured exhausts making pretty patterns in the sky.  
  
I can see how Zoltar and the Giant Blue Chicken are really rubbing the Rigans' noses in it, now. I mean, the Rigans have only got those three red planes in the Red Rangers, so for the Spectrans to show up with, like, _eight_ planes that are all fabulously funky and have pretty-coloured exhausts is really showing the whole galaxy that when it comes to aesthetics, Spectra totally rules.  
  
Is that kind of stuff mentioned in _The Art of War_? Because Zoltar obviously thinks it's really important to outdo your enemies when it comes to fabulousness.  
  
Not that there's anything wrong with that.  
  
"Let's get lost, Tiny," Mark says, as the fabulous Less Ominous ships start to wreathe the _Phoenix_ in fabulous coloured smoke.  
  
That smoke has to have some really fabulous qualities, because despite the fact that the _Phoenix_ is trucking along at a rate of knots, the smoke isn't blowing off.  
  
"Like disco lights," Mark complains, while Jason stares in horror out of the main screen.  
  
No. I think disco lights would be worse. This is fabulous coloured smoke. It's like the Fire Drill From Hell.  
  
"And we're gonna dance," Mark says.  
  
The big Ominous Ship opens its Ominous Beak and lets loose with its proton-negative sonar beam (yeah, I know) and the _Phoenix_ doesn't dance, but she starts to shake. The vanes on the wing intakes are torn loose and inside the main cabin, the G-Force team are badly buffeted.  
  
The team lose consciousness, and the _Phoenix_ begins to descend with ordinary un-fabulous dirty smoke billowing from her engines.  
  
Zoltar watches this and says, "Farewell, G-Force," because that's the kind of thing you have to say when you're an Evil Villain, although as a line, it does lack the cattiness you'd expect if it was going to be truly fabulous.  
  
The _Phoenix_ does a belly-flop into the water, and, surprisingly, she doesn't break up on impact but simply wallows. In the cabin, the team lie prone amidst shards of broken glass.  
  
Now the trouble starts. The _Phoenix_ is not unscathed. She's taking water, and the cabin wall ruptures, letting in the sea. Water splashes over Mark, and he doesn't stir.  
  
Aboard the Ominous Ship, the _Phoenix_ is lined up on a big targeting system. A uniformed goon pulls a lever, and the Ominous Ship lets loose with a barrage of small, red, multi-finned missiles that actually look quite businesslike and not terribly fabulous at all.  
  
They're all heading straight for the _Phoenix_ , which is floating inert and helpless below.  
  
It looks like this could be it for G-Force!  
  
  
  
So, let's go to **Recipe of the Episode**!

  
  
This is an old favourite, and one well worth a try on those cold winter evenings.  
  
**LEMON DELICIOUS PUDDING**  
  
_Remember to stand the dish in a pan of water. If this is not done, the lemon sauce will not form._  
  
Ingredients:  
  
60g butter  
175g sugar  
2 eggs - separated  
Rind and juice of 1 large lemon  
1 ¼ cups milk  
60g self raising flour   
  
Method:  
  
1\. Cream butter and sugar.  
2\. Add egg yolks, grated lemon rind and juice.  
3\. Gradually stir in milk, sifted flour, and baking powder.  
4\. Stiffly beat egg whites. Fold in to mixture.  
5\. Pour into greased dish and stand in a pan of water.  
6\. Bake in a moderate oven (180°C / 350°F) for 40 minutes.  
  
  
Serve hot with ice cream and/or fresh whipped cream.  
  


  
We now return to _Raid on Riga_ , where the Ominous Ship has fired its weapons on a helpless _Phoenix_.  
  
  
  
The missiles close.  
  
The _Phoenix_ wallows.  
  
It looks really, really bad, but then, as the missiles are only metres away, they explode without impacting.  
  
As you knew they would.  
  
Zoltar, however, is perplexed.  
  
"What stopped our attack?" he demands angrily. "Colonel Cronus, and the planes of Riga!"  
  
He seems less than happy to see them.  
  
Colonel Cronus is flying along in his toothy little red fighter plane. His plane isn't fabulous but I bet there are Sydney Mardi Gras regulars who'd kill for his boots. As would Patsy and Edina from AbFab, sweetie.  
  
"Keep firing," Cronus orders. He must have been so annoyed by those fabulous coloured fighters with their pretty smoke patterns poncing around the sky and showing up his lack of fabulousness. Footwear aside, of course.  
  
The Rigan fighters do just that, and the Ominous Ship takes evasive action, defying all the laws of aerodynamics and aerial combat as it rears up past what ought to be its stalling point and presents a lovely big target.  
  
Evil Commander _du jour_ puts in a call to Z-Bob. "We're running out of fuel and ammunition, sire," he reports.  
  
Z-Bob appears unimpressed. He curls a painted lip. "It doesn't matter," he growls. "You've done a good job, and the _Phoenix_ is finished, anyway. Head back to base!"  
  
"Yes, sire," ECdj replies, saluting, and does just that.  
  
We cut to Colonel Cronus, who watches the Ominous Ship depart. "All right," says Cronus. "Let's help the _Phoenix_."  
  
  
  
Cronus and his cronies must have helped the _Phoenix_ okay, because we now cut to Chief Anderson's clenched fist hitting his desk.  
  
You will recall that the last time we saw Chief Anderson, he was not a happy bunny.  
  
He is still not a happy bunny.  
  
Not in the usual way that Chief Anderson is not a happy bunny, but in a far more intense, specific and highly focussed lack of happy bunniness.  
  
Yes, G-Force is about to be dragged over the coals.  
  
So to speak.  
  
"You deliberately disobeyed orders," Anderson says, his unhappy unbunniness being made perfectly clear, "and if Cronus hadn't intervened and helped you back here safely, you might have lost the _Phoenix_ and your own lives as well."  
  
Mark is not a happy bunny, either. "It was all my fault," he says. "I did what I thought was right, Chief."  
  
Oh, that makes it all right, then. An eighteen-year-old hotshot thinks that what _he_ thinks is right is going to be far more valid than the considered opinions of experienced and highly trained analysts... Oh, hang on, I'm describing adolescence, aren't I?  
  
Duh.  
  
Anderson isn't buying Mark's penitent act, however. "You will be confined to Center Neptune, 'til the Security Board reviews your case and decides what action to take."  
  
Mark frowns at this, but what did he expect? Oh, yeah, to defeat the Ominous Ship and return triumphant, secure in the knowledge that he was Right About Everything. Kids!  
  
  
  
"We've analysed the new Spectra weapon," Anderson says, sliding a photograph across his desk. He's briefing Cronus, who has adopted a 'defiant hero' pose in Anderson's office, and hasn't followed military convention which requires that he remove his hat indoors. (It’s also rather bad manners, but I really shouldn’t expect Cronus to be polite. After all, he’s a bit of an arse, really.) "A combination of high intensity photon waves and negative sonar waves."  
  
"There must be a way to get through that multi-coloured shield of theirs," Cronus says, demonstrating his ability to deal with Anderson's pseudoscientific jargon by ignoring it altogether.  
  
This is the only moment in the entire series where I actually award Cronus a point. It would have been two points had he used the word, 'thingy,' but he didn't.  
  
"The best scientific minds in the galaxy are working on it," Anderson assures him, while neglecting to mention that he also has a team of HR consultants scouring the Milky Way for etymologists in the hope that they'll somehow be able to get the terminology to make sense.  
  
Cronus changes the subject. "I fully understand your disciplinary action against Mark."  
  
"You're Mark's friend," Anderson reasons. "I know you've fought side by side, but --"  
  
"Surely, Security can excuse his first breach of discipline," Cronus argues.  
  
"We're more concerned about the defeat he's suffered," Anderson says. "He'll need time to recover confidence."  
  
We cut to a shot of a room in Center Neptune where G-Force are shooting the breeze. Mark is staring out the viewport again with his arms folded in a protective gesture.  
  
The door slides open and in walk Anderson and Cronus.  
  
Keyop looks up expectantly. "Verdict?" he prompts.  
  
"The Security Board has reached a decision," Anderson says. "Mark, you will come with us, please."  
  
Mark turns from his study of the reef, his worry evident in his expression.  
  
"It's all right, Mark," Cronus says. "We're going back to Riga and finish the job, if you're still interested."  
  
Tiny rises to his feet. "Hey! What about the rest of us?" he demands. "We've got some interest in that job, too!"  
  
"You're going," Anderson tells him. "Get the _Phoenix_ ready."  
  
The two men turn and walk out the door again.  
  
  
  
We cut to a shot of some water.  
  
And some Zark.  
  
Say, could we immerse Zark _in_ the water?  
  
No?  
  
Darn.  
  
"That Spectra space ship hasn't been seen since it drove off the _Phoenix_ ," Zark narrates, "but it'll return, so G‑Force has been sent back to Riga with Cronus, and this time, they've been fully advised by me!"  
  
Zark is such a Wesley.  
  
While Zark is blowing his own trumpet, the camera closes in on an island, taking us down to where Jason, Princess, Keyop and Tiny are being addressed by two of the Red Rangers.  
  
"Your leader is about to be tested," one of them announces.  
  
This bemuses -- then amuses -- Tiny somewhat. "No-one can outfly Mark," he declares, putting his arms behind his head. "Not even Colonel Cronus. C'mon, team. Let's get a look at this!" The four of them take off at a run to find a vantage point. "Mark can fly upside down and blindfolded, and win!" Tiny insists.  
  
We see two jets flying at low level over the ocean, and Zark explains that, "Mark is being tested, to see if his confidence has returned."  
  
Cronus, in the lead aircraft, looks to his left. "Ready, Mark?" he asks. He sends his jet flying straight for a big pointy rock formation on the island, then at the last possible moment (way past the last possible moment if you don't have a note from Mother Nature excusing you from physics) he pulls up and flies clear.  
  
Mark appears fairly nonchalant. "If he can do it, I can," he reasons.  
  
Right. The boys are playing chicken.  
  
Mark duplicates Cronus' manoeuvre, but with some grimacing and sweating thrown in as an added extra. Funny, but it wasn't piloting in a game of pylon-racing chicken that hit Mark in the ego, it was being shot down in the _Phoenix_. Is nobody worried that _Tiny_ might be having a crisis of confidence, here?  
  
Of course they aren't. Silly me. It's all about Mark, isn't it?  
  
Cronus brings his jet about again. "Ready for another crack at it?" he challenges.  
  
Mark is not in good shape. He's drenched in sweat and decidedly less than keen. "What are we trying to prove, Colonel?" he asks, which is probably the most intelligent thing to come out of the boy's mouth all episode.  
  
"See if you've lost your nerve," Cronus says silkily, and sends his jet into a stoop.  
  
Cronus does his little trick, and Mark follows. The kid must be over-eager to prove himself, because he appears to go in too fast, which makes him pull up too hard, and as we all know, that increases the amount of G that you pull. We all also know that if you pull enough G without wearing a G-suit (and for crying out loud, Mark’s in his battle gear, in a _fighter plane_ so that ought to be taken care of) you can black out. So what happens next?  
  
Mark blacks out in the cockpit.  
  
The jet continues on its ascent and, lacking corrective input from her pilot, goes into aerodynamic stall at the top of a very sloppy loop.  
  
"Mark!" Cronus cries in alarm. He's pushed the boy too far. The G-1 goes into a spin and puts Mark back on a collision course with the rock outcrop. "Pull out, Mark! Pull out! Mark regains consciousness and tries to pull up but he's going way, way too fast this time so he tries to jink around to port. He almost makes it, but the starboard wing hits the outcrop. One of his main wheels (I thought the G-1 had retractable gear) is torn off, and we see Mark's agonised grimace as the canopy cracks and the jet goes in.  
  
Mark wakes up, still grimacing, and sits bolt upright. "Where am I?" he cries, in accordance with the rules of narrative impetus.  
  
"My place," says a voice, and a blur resolves itself into the familiar shape of Colonel Cronus, who doesn't even take his hat off when he's at home. I bet he puts his boots up on the coffee table, too, the untidy bastard.  
  
"What happened?" Mark asks.  
  
"You're lucky to be alive," Cronus says, which doesn't actually answer the question.  
  
"I cracked up, didn't I?" Mark deduces.  
  
"It's my fault, Mark," Cronus says, which is the most intelligent line out of his mouth in the whole episode, too. "I pushed the test just too far, and too long, but you took quite a beating from Spectra's powerful photon rays, and we had to find out if it affected your nerve and skill."  
  
Mark is out of the bed and on his feet. "I blacked out for just a second, that's all!" he protests, then he arches and grimaces again, almost falling.  
  
Cronus catches him. "Take it easy," he says.  
  
Mark pushes Cronus away. "I'm all right," he insists. And if you believe that, would you like to visit my eBay auction where I'm selling the Sydney Harbour Bridge?  
  
"You tested out very well," Cronus says. "You almost made it."  
  
" _Almost_ isn't good enough to stop Zoltar," Mark points out.  
  
  
  
The team is reunited back on the beach, watching a lovely Tatsunoko sunset. They're not happy bunnies, either, and understandably so.  
  
Keyop picks up a rock and declares, "A skimmer!" He throws the rock, which skips four times before sinking.  
  
Tiny picks up a rock of his own. "Hey, get a load of this skimmer, Keyop." He throws it, and it sinks straight into the water.  
  
Mark's eyes widen as he has a rock-induced epiphany. "I think I know how to combat Spectra's new photon rays," he announces. The team turn to him in surprise. "But first," Mark says, "I've gotta prove something to Cronus, and myself."  
  
We flash back to Mark playing chicken with the big pointy rock outcrop.  
  
"Cronus was right," Mark explains. "I had to beat it to be sure of myself. _Now_ bring on Zoltar!"  
  
We see the _Phoenix_ taking off, so I guess that wasn't a flashback, it was a very, very, very, very short one-shot montage in which Mark overcame his doubts and won back his nerve, and now he's ready to take on Z-Bob by throwing rocks at him.  
  
The Red Rangers take off as well and formate on the _Phoenix_.  
  
Aboard the _Phoenix_ , Mark is quietly confident. "Let me have one of your fusion cylinders, Princess," he says.  
  
"Big ten," Princess says, and gives him what looks like a penlight battery out of her yo-yo. Only it's a fusion cylinder, okay? "Careful," she cautions.  
  
"Thanks for the warning," Mark says, and inserts the fusion cylinder in his sonic boomerang.  
  
Tiny has a warning, too. He's seen the Ominous Ship. "Here comes big trouble, Commander," he says.  
  
Yep, it's the Ominous Ship, all right, and it's obeying the laws of narrative impetus by coming out to play again now that Mark has his nerve back and has a Plan.  
  
"I hope Mark's plan of attack works," says Cronus, whose job at the moment is to increase dramatic tension.  
  
The big Ominous Ship disgorges the smaller fabulous Less Ominous Ships, which are promptly shot down by the Red Rangers, who previously had their guns loaded with Plot Driven marshmallows, but have now opted to give bullets a go instead.  
  
I guess that must have been part of Mark's plan: try loading the guns with bullets! (And not the liquorice kind, either.)  
  
Note: it is not recommended that any kind of firearm ever be loaded with liquorice bullets. Liquorice at high velocity can cause serious injury, and the melted compound chocolate in the barrel is an absolute bastard to clean up after.  
  
The Ominous Ship retaliates by using its proton-negative sonar beam (yeah, I know) and in accordance with Mark's clever rock-inspired plan, the Red Rangers elude the weapon by running away.  
  
Bullets in the guns and running away. Pure genius.  
  
ECdj is miffed. "Use the high-energy photon shield!" he orders.  
  
The Ominous Ship starts giving everyone an LSD trip with pretty colours.  
  
Mark puts a hand on Tiny's arm. "This is going to be like those rocks you were skimming on the water," he explains. Evidently, part of Mark's plan was to wait until they had actually engaged the enemy before conducting the briefing.  
  
"How's that?" Tiny asks.  
  
"We can't hit that protective shield a glancing blow, or we'll skip off. We'll come from above, straight down. If I'm wrong, well, we'll all be back skimming rocks."  
  
Interesting concept you have of an afterlife, there, Chicken Boy.  
  
"Think positive, Mark," Princess urges.  
  
Actually, I thought he was being incredibly optimistic.  
  
"Cronus is going to decoy them," Mark says. "We'll peel off, let them think we don't wanna fight. Then we cut back, sneak in behind, and get directly above them for a straight shot down." As per the briefing that the rest of G-Force were unable to attend, the Red Rangers open fire with air-to-air ordnance. The explosions temporarily blind the crew of the Ominous Ship. "Now, Tiny!" Mark says. "Pull up, and away from them."  
  
Tiny complies. "Big ten!" he says.  
  
The _Phoenix_ climbs away. "They're turning tail and heading for home," gloats ECdj, "just like before."  
  
The _Phoenix_ comes around and goes into a dive. "Perfect," Mark says. "They're directly under us, now."  
  
"Yeah, I see 'er," Tiny groans.  
  
On the screen, we see the back end of the Ominous Ship, surrounded by its psychedelic shield thingy.  
  
"Full power dive!" Mark orders.  
  
Tiny complies, and the _Phoenix_ spears through the photon shield.  
  
This has some very weird psychedelic effects on the viewer, because as they pass through the shield, we can see that it's taking a toll on G-Force. Tiny is gripping the controls, with Mark gripping the back of his chair, and Jason is suffering in the right-hand seat. The camera angle changes, and we can see that Princess and Keyop are also holding on for dear life, and _Mark and Jason have swapped places._  
  
There's another shot of the _Phoenix_ , still diving, then another shot of Tiny, Mark and Jason, who are now back in their original positions, with Mark and Jason having swapped back again.  
  
Ooooooh! Look at the pretty colours!  
  
The pretty colours stop and the boys are grimly pleased. "We've made it through!" Mark observes. "Now, land on 'em, Tiny!" The _Phoenix_ closes in. "Closer," Mark says.  
  
Tiny's hand trembles. "Controls sticking!" he grunts.  
  
Mark places his hand over Tiny's and helps him. His vision narrows, as it did when he blacked out in the G-1, and Princess, for some reason, looks horrified, as though she can tell from the back that Mark is having a bad moment, then Mark's vision clears and together, he and Tiny correct the _Phoenix_ 's course.  
  
The Ominous Ship has a very convenient runway on its back, presumably for the fabulous Less Ominous Ships that the Red Rangers blew up, and the _Phoenix_ touches down.  
  
The dorsal dome opens and Mark lets fly with his boomerang. It spears into the fuselage of the Ominous Ship, then the _Phoenix_ completes her go-around, much to the consternation of the Ominous Ship's crew.  
  
"What the --?" the ECdj exclaims as the _Phoenix_ climbs away. He then has an epiphany of his own -- epiphanies are clearly not limited to the Good Guys today -- and gives the order to abandon ship.  
  
Princess' tiny little fusion cylinder packs a heck of a wallop, because when it explodes, it doesn't just tear a hole in the Ominous Ship's fuselage, it blows up the entire thing.  
  
Wreckage is flung all over the place, and miraculously, since flying shrapnel is governed by the same Laws of Ballistics that prevent Nameless Bad Guys ever hitting the hero (or heroes) with automatic weapons fire, none of it strikes the _Phoenix_ as she flees the scene.  
  
We see the Ominous Ship continuing to blow up, and it appears that it is blowing up so effectively that its head gets blown off twice.  
  
None of the flying shrapnel hits the escape ships, either, it seems, because ECdj is fine and in one piece as he Zarks to Z-Bob that all of the crew got away.  
  
Z-Bob is still snarling, but it's on the other side of his face, this time. No, I mean that. He's curling the other side of his lip to what he was earlier in the episode.  
  
Must be some kind of sneering practice thing, where you have to make sure your sneering is both effective and balanced, so you have to be able to give both left and right sided sneers whenever the moment calls for it. He probably has to practice Supercilious Sneering along with the Evil Villain Laugh. I bet that takes up a fair chunk of his day.  
  
"Return to Spectra immediately," Z-Bob sneers. "The Great Spirit wishes to speak to you _personally_."  
  
"Yes, sire," says ECdj. Oh, dear me. Things are not looking good for ECdj, despite all his fabulousness.  
  
Bits of the Ominous Ship fall into the ocean.  
  
Aboard the _Phoenix_ , everyone watches with the satisfaction of a job well done.  
  
The Red Rangers formate on the _Phoenix_ , right where they'll give the G-Force command ship the maximum amount of jet wake turbulence possible. Because Cronus is an arse.  
  
"Thanks, my friends," says Cronus. "I knew we could count on you. I wish you good flying, and a speedy trip back to Earth. We'll meet again!" And with that, the Red Rangers go swooping dramatically, almost fabulously, away into the Rigan sunset.  
  
Mark watches them go. _Goodbye, Cronus_ , he thinks.  
  
  
  
The _Phoenix_ slices across the Rigan sunset, leaving a thin white contrail in her wake.  
  
Which, of course, means that Zark has to come back and impose his nasty little opinions on us again.  
  
"I guess I can relax, now," Zark says, reclining on his horrible little table recliner daybed sort of thing. "Once more, with the help of Colonel Cronus, G-Force has defeated the invaders from Spectra, and Planet Riga, is safe! My circuits are jangled," he adds. "After that close call, I could use a ten second break." He considers for a moment, then turns back to the comm unit. "This is 7-Zark-7. Are you there, Susan?"  
  
And I shudder in anticipation of the horror that is the Zark/Susan ship.  
  
The comm lights up and Susan replies. "Yes, sir," she says breathily, and Zarks antennae do that really disturbing Freudian thing where they bounce and twitch with little _boing, boing!_ sound effects. "I'm here. How may I... serve you?"  
  
"I'm going to push my 'off' button for a little rest," says Zark, and I can see this one coming, I can, and I wish, oh, how I wish I couldn't. "Would you turn me on again when it's time to go back to work?"  
  
Yes, that one was telegraphed. There are times, I think, when the idea of hanging writers up by their thumbs in the Black Breasted Buzzard exhibit seems like a really, really good idea to me.  
  
Oh, well, I suppose I must continue to the end. Especially since I’m not actually allowed to hang people up in the Black Breasted Buzzard exhibit.  
  
Susan makes the requisite response: "It's always... a pleasure... to turn you on, sir," she says.  
  
Zark giggles. "Thank you, Susan," he says.  
  
Perv.  
  
"Time to go back to work, sir," Susan says immediately.  
  
Zark's recliner tips him off and sets him upright on his pervy little feet again. "There's nothing like a nice refreshing nap," he declares happily, "and to be awakened by a... lovely voice." We cut to Zark standing in the middle of the room, although there is nothing to suggest the manner in which he got there other than the Power of Editing. "I guess I've got the best job in the whole universe," Zark says, "working for... G-Force!"  
  
He salutes, and the end title rolls.  
  
  
  
One of the really fascinating hooks that this show had for me was the tiny litle glimpses we got into the sociopolitical structure of the BotP universe and the lives of the team outside of their jobs. The writers dangled the business about the 'Alliance' in our faces in this ep and then completely failed to follow it up, turning it instead into 'Mark just needs some Tough Love from his dear old bestest buddy Colonel Cronus.'  
  
It was nice to see Tiny get some screen time, today, too. He clearly has a private life, and the ability to pull birds. One wonders, did he meet Alice at the park, or did she accompany the team on their little outing? It's all fodder for the collective imagination of the fanfic writers, I suppose. I do cringe at the line they gave Alice, though, 'Macho.' Yuck.  
  
There's also that very telling line from the Giant Blue Chicken: 'Without me, you and your miserable planet would have died long ago!' Just one sentence, with so much menace and cosmic implication! We can gauge from this one little exchange that the Giant Blue Chicken possibly doesn't have its origins on Planet Spectra, and it's there only because it has something to gain from the relationship it has with the Spectrans. This leads to more questions -- as so many things about this series did -- such as, is that relationship symbiotic or parasitic? Why is the GBC helping the Spectrans? What does it get out of the deal? Will it fulfil its end of the bargain? What do the Spectrans get out of it and how? What the heck _is_ the Giant Blue Chicken and where is it actually from?  
  
Fascinating, as Mr Spock would say.  
  
I do find it a little odd that the censors were so set against the depiction of personal violence, but allowed all the Freudian stuff and the blatant _double entendre_ of the Zark/Susan sequences. Maybe it was okay because Zark and Susan aren't human? Sure, let's project our sexuality on to objects, boys and girls! I mean, isn't that literally objectifying sex? Zark really is a pervy little version of Pinocchio meets Mary Sue, isn't he?  
  
The episode itself had a clear little morality-play theme where we were shown that rebellion against authority can lead to things going pear-shaped in a big way. The consequences were somewhat subdued, however, and handled rather fuzzily.  
  
Mark was required to face the consequences of his actions and was 'punished' in that he suffered a loss of nerve, but he regained that after watching Keyop and Tiny skim rocks.  
  
The rest of the team was not punished, and we see no formal disciplinary action being taken, merely considered.  
  
And that's interesting, because if you think back to when you were a kid and you followed some other kid into trouble, you still got sent to your room, didn't you?  
  
So while we have alleged educational content and part of a morality play, there's also a mixed message and a pervy little anthropomorphic robot. Lucky me, though, I'm not a parent, so I don't need to worry about those sorts of things. How about you? I’m not sure I’m going to show the DVDs to my nephews and expose their soft and impressionable little brains to Zark, though.  
  
Anyway, on that note, this is where we bid farewell to _Raid on Riga_.  



End file.
